Journal of Pirate Lingo*


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* not an actual journal
of pirate lingo

15.02.01 - 02:44:47

It is 9:49 PM and I am at work, which is where I always seem to be these days. Allow me to bitch for a moment. GODDAMN STUPID WORK! It pays the bills but it doesn't pay the bills of my soul. Yes I know my metaphors are amazing, that's why they pay me the big bucks.

Aside from watching my life slowly ooze away into the cracks and pores of corporate America, life has been alright. Except for the virulent Ebola-like strain of flu I caught upon returning from India.

But then! But then I bought a couch and a playstation & the sun started shining, some traveling people rented a limo and we rode in style to Napa Valley whilst sipping champagne and nodding to the strains of "Big Pimpin", observed modern art at the Hess Vineyards of the following kind:

1) a underwood typewriter that had been modified so flames perpetually flickered from the carriage

2) faces made from delicately pinned eucalyptus leaves

3) a slice of road (asphalt, tire tracks etc) placed on the wall like a painting

& Shawn and I went to a pub quiz that was fun even though we got housed & I left the tent-sized t-shirt I'd won at the bar due to the undue influence of alcohol, which I've been consuming a lot lately.

& i subscribed to the Economist & joined global exchange and amnesty international and started reading about the IMF/WTO & picked up this book, "No Logo", which is about the growing anti-corporate movement in America & makes me mad enough to throw bricks into the windows of Starbucks and Kmart and Walmart and the Sony Metreon, or maybe light a fire and watch it BURN!

Er, speaking of Sony, here are some reviews of playstation games I bought:

Tenchu 2 : ZERO STARS, it gets no stars.

This stupid ninja stealth game made me realize that being a ninja is a pain in the ass. You have to creep around and skulk and crawl, which would be ok if it didn't control like an village drunkard. The camera perspective of your character is utterly fucked up-- you can only see a few feet in front of your character and you're always staring DOWN, as if you've suffered some kind of ninja neck injury and should now be receiving ninja workman's comp.

I got stoned playing Tenchu 2 and became obsessed with killing myself-- there are lots of ways to die in the game, such as holding yourself underwater till you drown, walking into flames, getting skewered by a sword. my morbid tendencies are taking hold.

Final Fantasy VIII : TWO STARS

Great graphix and sounds but jesus christ, this game is more complicated than anything I've ever played. Piloting the Space Shuttle would be easier. I spent an hour trying to read the manual and understand the "junction system" and interpret the incomprehensible instructions. "Magic may be junctioned to character stats in stat, Elt-At, Elt-Df, Stat-At, or Stat-Df, once a GF has been junctioned and magic has been acquired in combat through "draw", provided that draw has been junctioned as a combat ability." Hmm. I see.

One can only speculate what the next Final Fantasy will be like. Jenny thinks that in Final Fantasy IX, they're going to make you do your character's taxes. Fun fun!!


Fie! Fie on developers who take a Nintendo game and put it on playstation without improving it in anyway. In the words of the onion, this game should be "consigned to a pit and periodically burned." It doesnt even save your damn high score. The only reason I keep playing is because I jones for tetris like a crack fiend.


Searching for a job that fits conscience and/or pays more... morale at work is low. Only friends and dreams keep me moving at full speed.

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