Journal of Pirate Lingo*


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* not an actual journal
of pirate lingo

26.02.01 - 21:41:19

No more poofy hair for me! I finally got my head buzzed this weekend, and it feels gooood. One fourth inch of peach fuzz is now all that separates my skull from the madness of the surrounding world.

No more glasses either, cos I also got contacts. I resisted contacts for a long time, because you have to squish your eyeball to take them out. As any reputable medical practitioner will tell you, EYEBALLS ARE NOT MEANT TO BE SQUISHED. This is simply a fact. There is no disputing this.

Also I figured that contacts were pure vanity. This argument gradually lost its strength as I became increasingly vain. Eventually my vanity even overcame my eyeball-squish-phobia, and now I am sitting here writing these words with the cool air rushing over the bridge of nose, where previously the clasp of my glasses once clutched. No more!

So now that I'm a new man, what's in store for Yrs 2001? Obviously the ladies will find me irresistable, but looking beyond the obvious:

1) greater chance of being blinded in a freak acid-splashing accident

2) people will think I've gotten dumber

3) greater chance of being blinded in a freak heat-searing accident that fuses the lenses to my eyeballs so that they can never, ever come off. oh god. the horror, the horror.

I may have some lingering phobias to deal with.


Today we find out if our project at work has been accepted by the clients. If so, onto the beach baby! For those not in the know, this is not the good kind of beach with sand and waves and sun. This is the Sapient beach, which just means you don't have a project so you sit around all day. But that means I can come in whenever I want and leave early. HELLS yeah. Paradoxically, I will begin to write more and more diary entries while having less and less to say (because nothing will be happening). Eventually every entry will refer only to itself and to the act of writing the entry, and the diary will implode into a singularity of meaninglessness. In the meantime, read on.


In the Mood for Love -- as far as I'm concerned a movie is only allowed to have one (1) Meaningful Prolonged Gaze Into The Distance, per character, per movie. In the Mood for Love has approx. 15 meaningful gazes for each of the main characters. 15 meaningful gazes x half an hour per gaze (perceived time not actual time) = 7.5 hours of meaningful gaze time (or MGT). This is nearly toxic dosage of MGT and should be avoided at all costs.

Final Fantasy-- ok I'm getting into it. My "GF" has gained mucho "AP" and I can now "Junction" almost every "ability" including but not limited to : "HP-J", "ST-J" and "Elt-Atk". Yeah.

No Logo - was good

26 corner -- soon to be martini bar but man that lady gives us such a guilt trip . Andy K. told me he & his friends actually have been avoiding it cos they haven't been in 2 months and they know it will be such a scene when they go back. That lady's scolding makes you sell out your friends in a hurry. Last night she was like "why haven't you been back in so long?" and we immediately starting pointing fingers at each other. "Cos Jenny said she wouldn't come unless we all came" "Shut up! You're the one who didn't want sushi!!" until she's caused us to all bite and snarl like feral animals.

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