07.08.01 - 10:44 a.m.

I'm back from Las Vegas. I used to get all depressed when I lived there. Casinos are dark caves filled with zombies plugging endless quarters into machines. The clang and clatter drives me mad. There is no time, no night or day.

Despite my fear and loathing, I'm helpless when I walk into a casino. I don't like slots as much, but I love table games, blackjack and craps. The only problem is that as soon as you convert money into chips, it turns into Monopoly money. I suddenly start to think that I'm James Bond. With a rakish grin, I insouciantly throw chips on to the table. "Let it ride, all on hard twelve..." In the movies that always works, but in real life I end up curled into the fetal position sobbing and sucking my thumb. There are few events as bracing as losing a lot of cash in a short period of time. It feels like ripping off a bandage.

It was cool to play craps though, with a cute redhead on each arm. (A. on the left, my old friend Robyn on the right.) I like playing craps because you get to roll the dice and say things like "papa needs a new pair of shoes!" I used to be able to gamble small amounts, but now it's only a thrill if I put down enough to make me nervous. I'm an erratic gambler, prone to speculation. No systems here. Like everyone else in Vegas, I'm driven by the vision of the BIG SCORE. You stare at the escalating Megabucks numbers and imagine yourself yanking down the lever, watching the reels spin, seeing 7, 7, and then with a satisfying surreal shudder the last 7 comes to a stop in the dead center. The siren goes off and the light starts flashing and all other gamblers momentarily pull away from their compulsions to stare at you, envy and fascination in their eyes. "Money talks and bullshit walks," that is what they say.

We rode some rollercoasters and went bowling. A. is a total shark. "ooo, i haven't played in so long, now remind me how the rules go?" And then she gets around 200!! I was half-expecting her to bust out a bowling glove and a monogrammed solid gold ball. That's alright though. If they gave points for STYLE you know I'd get 300 every game.

Nice to see Amma & Anna again... dinner party on Saturday, David, Lynette (now married! and her husband's taking her last name, how's that for a blow against patriarchy) & a cast of thousands. My mom knows how to throw a dinner party. She is the black belt shaolin master of entertaining.

Half asleep at the hard rock with A. and AJ and Tim, 4 in the morning. An insane number of beautiful scantily clad twenty-somethings strutted and preened everywhere. I felt very uncool but also superior. These girls in the booth behind us at Mr. Lucky's must have been strippers. They had a inflatable man that they proceeded to blow up and then fondle. People were dancing on the tables, cracking whips... I wanted to shout "STOP THE MADNESS" but instead I just drank hot tea and ogled.

Took A. to peppermill... that is an excellent spot for slow jams and caresses. A true lounge, with fire crackling in the middle of a pool, nice loveseats all around it, mirrors everywhere. It's so patently "mack" that you have to laugh and fall victim to its charms. Many young lovers were getting their groove on, and I saw several children in the twinkle of their future mommy's/daddy's eyes.

My new reading obsession is the logistics/business of narco-trafficking. In 1985 the Medellin cartel was pulling in revenue of 40-50 BILLION dollars a year. That was more money than all but the 6 largest transnational corporations in the world. They were making more money than Chevron, more money than AT&T, more money than General Electric. You don't need a PhD in economics to see the futility of the U.S. war on drugs. How many more third world peasants have to be slaughtered, how many more billions of taxpayer dollars have to be spent, how many more non-violent offenders have to be imprisoned, before we wake up from this nightmare? U.S. drug policy is a farce. If you don't believe me, check out this recent report from that noted left-wing extremist periodical The Economist.

Sandeep id'd that adam beyer track from the forest party. It's "Remainings III (dk mix)" and it's OFF THA MUTHAFUCKIN HEEZY!!!!