04.12.02 - 3:22 p.m.

I've decided this journal needs more recipes. Recipes are fun for the whole family. So without further ado, I give you one of my all time favorites.

A---'S DELICIOUS PEANUT BUTTER STIX

Ingredients:

Roasted peanuts
Corn syrup solids
Sugar
Soy protein
Salt
Partially hydrogenated vegetable oils
Mono- and diglycerides
Magnesium oxide
Zinc oxide
Iron phosphate
Copper sulfate
Niacinamide
Pyridoxine hydrochloride
Folic acid
Carrot sticks

Directions:

Set carrots aside. Put remaining ingredients in a bowl and mix (bake? process? bombard with powerful radiation? jesus christ, I don't know) until you have achieved a sweet buttery paste with the consistency of cake frosting. Spread on top of carrots and serve.

Mmm mmm good.

Forthcoming: a tale of bloody knees (with gruesome pictoral accompaniment)