Journal of Pirate Lingo*

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* not an actual journal
of pirate lingo

03.12.03 - 11:02 a.m.

One of the many good things about Az. is that she drags my ass, kicking and screaming, to the gym. We went last night, despite my fervent objections. ("What if there's a terrorist attack while we're there?" "What if I have a heart attack?" "What about the children? Won't you please THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!")

Once there, it was nice to let out some pent up energy. I ran a fast 3 miles (@ 7 minutes / mile) while listening to this mix put together by the guys who did the Dr. Megavolt show at burning man last year. It's a really tight collection of bass tracks, sped-up hip hop and breaks.

Track six, woofer excursion test. This track will test your woofer's ability to reproduce sub-bass frequencies, without going past the limits of its voice coil or suspension. In other words, to drop bottom, without bottoming out. Be sure to disengage any equalizers, epicenters, or other bass-enhancement devices, as they will not be necessary for this track.

When I was running I imagined that the crackling drums were minature explosions setting off pistons in my legs. The faster I ran, the more my mind floated away, back to the first time I'd heard this music. Did I ever tell you about Dr. Megavolt? Elio and Stirling know. The sound that tesla coil made in the inky night, the unforgettable sizzle of five trillion billion volts of electricity coursing out of the machine towards ground... it exceeded anything I could have imagined. The bass bins were rattling and the music felt so perfect, so minimal and dangerous. Months later I wrote to the Mutaytor crew asking for details, and they were nice enough to send me a CD.

BASS, HOW LOW CAN YOU GO?

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