Journal of Pirate Lingo*


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* not an actual journal
of pirate lingo

04.24.04 - 4:35 p.m.

The last 24 hours of my life have been entirely devoted to SCUBA. I just got back from the crash course. It's amazing how quickly breathing underwater goes from bizarre to accepted. Now I am having daydreams of being a Navy SEAL or doing deep sea diving to fix oil rigs. I guess I better learn buoyancy first.

Welding and SCUBA have at least one thing in common: steel cans containing gases under extreme pressure. Shear off the valve and voila, instant missile.

Our diving instructor told us his dad was the youngest professional SCUBA diver in California history. When he (our instructor) was 4 years old, his dad would put him in the tub and let him breathe through the regulator. So you could say he'd been diving since he was a little baby. He's one of those guys who can truly say they're as comfortable in the water as out of it.

Now I'm off to Laura's farewell party. Sad to think the baycrew will soon lose yet another member. Also in the background: our landlord is a fucking jerk, apartment searching is no fun, and I am giving up the hunt for my lost cellphone and switching to T-Mobile. THE END

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