01.31.05 - 10:52 a.m.

On the drive today, worries. I'm worried about money, job, buying a house, getting married, multiple rings, converting to Judaism, or not, having kids, whether I'd be a good parent, whether Az. would-- I mean I know she would in all aspects except for one, the scatter-brained thing. Which I have too, but to a lesser degree. How much does that matter?

Big layoffs supposed to happen at le&!p$%g soon. They're laying off 25% of the company, or so it's rumored. Az. is pretty stressed out about it, understandably, but to me it's still just rumors (was supposed to happen on Friday, didn't, was supposed to happen today, didn't, so they're either unreliable rumors or else le%#@#!g management is even stupider than I thought.)

My manager is leaving at work, so they're hiring someone new. I liked my old manager a lot, so it sucks that we're losing her. Can only hope the new hire is equally laid-back/competent. I'm on the verge of limbo-- the project I'm working on has no ship date and is not high priority. I'm a client side programmer on a server team. I don't know where I want to go, career-wise. To a product team? I want to have a life.

Stressful times, and sun on my neck is only a temporary cure. On Satuday we got up at 8:30, did yoga at 9, went shopping for prom outfits in the afternoon, went to Carrie's for a get together in the evening, ended up partying and didn't get to bed until 10AM. Sunday got up at 6PM, worked on work stuff till 10, in bed by 11. An odd and unsustainable lifestyle, but hey, at least we're not parents yet.

Oracle at Delphi, tell me what to do. Tell me where to go. Help me find my path. Give me a sign, please.