17.08.01 - 9:39 a.m.

You know you're hungover when you come into work in the morning and the first thing you say is "can we please kill these fucking LIGHTS?"

Ohhhh me duele la cabesa. I'm getting too old for this. (I was talking to Angi just now and she said "don't complain! there are lots of people who wish they could get drunk!" And it's true, in Ethiopia there are millions of sober children who would be grateful for even an eyedropper full of tequilla. Where's Sally Struthers when you need her?)

We were back at Cassanova last night, Shawn & me initially. Played some pool and I was actually doing alright. I think A.'s obsession with being good at it is rubbing off on me. But not to an unhealthy degree. I can't take any game too seriously, unless it's scrabble or mackin'.

Anne Marie and A. and A.'s friend Max met up with us after a while. A. was dressed up and she looked *good*.

More drinks, then we went to hear Julie spin at the Makeout Room. We were impeded by the fact that Julie had already played and left. She came on at ten! Is the Makeout Room even open at 10? Nevertheless some guy was playing adequate hip-hop. I danced for a little bit, talked drunkenly with A. about relationship matters and then plopped my ass down on a bar stool to take five.

The club was moderately crowded. There was this cute blonde girl in a tight blue dress who A. started dancing with. I watched them dance for a while, feeling :

1/4 - inadequacy because I'm not a good dancer. (i like dancing by myself but i can't swing or salsa very well)

1/4 - jealousy cos they looked like they were having a great time

2/4 - excitement at seeing A. and hot girl dance together

I can't say any of these feelings were particularly noble, but since I was mostly in the 2/4 zone, I had fun. Afterwards we talked and A. said "if you could follow, I'd dance with you instead." Which seemed fair enough.

Does every guy have the fantasy of getting it on with two girls at once? Surely. I think fantasies are pretty harmless. And good to talk about, because you never know what might develop.

On the other hand, sometimes what's good as a fantasy just doesn't work out in reality. I don't know if I could handle being w/ A. and another girl, from an emotional standpoint. My ego is too fragile. (Nikki Sixx is rolling over in his (future) grave. "Dude! Stop being such a wuss!") There are all kinds of issues with jealousy and attachment and insecurity that I think would arise.

God these florescent lights at work, they usually don't bother me but today I feel as though they are penetrating my brain and baking my neurons. I need to go hydrate.