Journal of Pirate Lingo*

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* not an actual journal
of pirate lingo

04.10.01 - 2:34 p.m.

I am always pleased by my brain's ability to solve complex scheduling problems. For instance, when I bike home from downtown BART, there are a number of things I need to do once I get home.

1) take a piss
2) remove backpack from bike
3) put bike in garage
4) lock bike
5) put perishables from backpack in fridge
6) REALLY HAVE TO PISS!!
7) get mail
8) take off bike helmet

#1 always has precedence, but if I don't do #3 first then my bike could get stolen while I'm inside. So #3 has to come first, but in order to do #3 I have to do #2, because I need the keys from my backpack. But once I have the keys I always think ""well I might as well just get it all over with before going in." So it generally goes #2, #3, #4, #8, #1, #5 and finally #7 (cos my hands are full the first time I go in and I can't carry the mail).

Let's see a chimp try to do THAT!

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