03.10.02 - 11:03 p.m.

The straight edge thing lasted about twelve hours, so might as well start writing again. Don't want to DEPRIVE YOU of any EXCITING TIDBITS from my EXCITING LIFE!! SO FUCKING EXCITING THAT I MUST USE CAPITALS AND EXCLAMATION MARKS AND PROFANITY AND BAD SPELING!!!

I'm in a weird place. (aren't we all.) the weekend was good, met interesting new people & played kickball. my team's name was the Ponies, our motto was "Whoaaaa PONIES" and our morale was high. nevertheless we got whomped by the opposing team. and they didn't even have a name! it was 9-9 in the bottom of the 9th and then all hell broke loose when sandeep started stealing bases.

i met hannah's roommate nicole at kickball & talked with her later at the bbq. we are both sagittarius. we both lived in england for almost a year. we both traveled in south america for a few months. we both want to go to cuba on our next trip.

josh's friends are visiting from tucson & today we hung out at golden gate park, sketching each other and watching the tides of humanity roll in. devilsticking, scarf twirling,tattooed skater punks giving little children rides. later went to hannah's & we watched "they live" starring rowdy roddy piper.

i talked to nicole some more after the movie. she's really cute. i hate it when i develop these infatuations. it's fight or flight. i have to ask her out. ok i will. but she's hannah's roommate, it could be so awkward if it goes badly. ok i won't. but she seems so cool. FUCK ALL MATE!!

what is a brother to do, when faced with such a challenge. i wish josh hadn't acted like a crystal meth head when we were walking back with her in the park.

i need to get a job. call it a hunch but i don't think many girls list 'unemployment' as a turn-on. i have a phone interview for this IT gig tomorrow. also going back to sprasso coffeehaus to sweet talk them and see if i can work there. there's a kid there from madrid who speaks spanish. i could use the practice.

what else, well everything, the world continues to turn on its axis and people are still killing each other in faraway places and i am still me. we watched found magazine's memorial day 2000. it's this video they found at some yard sale. filmed by an unknown young woman, this vacation video confirms every known stereotype of white redneck misbehavior. vomiting, fire jumping, couch on fire, mud fights, pickup trucks racing in the sand dunes, raw sewage dumped onto the campground, "PUKE PUKE PUKE!... smell my finger (blaaaaargh)" etc. will any of us ever be the same?

& dinner with the al's and mingling at ruby room, and i am writing this rotely, wanting just to document the facts without really caring about presentation or telling jokes. (i heard this joke somewhere that i've been telling a lot, but not so much lately since i've been hanging out with Artistes. "q: what's the difference between an artist and a large pizza? a: a large pizza can feed a family of four.")

ana's sister (or possibly ana? i can't remember which is which) told us at the bbq about her most recent meditation retreat. she spent ten days at this wilderness site north of san francisco. in that ten days, she didn't talk to anyone. she didn't read any books or watch tv or surf the internet or do ANYTHING except meditate, sleep, and eat three times a day. (meals were provided, all the people on the retreat met only at mealtime and ate in silence, without looking at each other.) can you imagine ten days of nothing?

ari fleischer's press debriefings have become increasingly cryptic of late...