Journal of Pirate Lingo*

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* not an actual journal
of pirate lingo

03.30.02 - 3:24 a.m.

man that was a weird party. vanessa's soft-spoken boyfriend hushed the crowd and started a stand-up comedy routine. he was periodically interrupted by an astoundingly intoxicated fellow by the name of 'bob', who muttered various non-sequiturs about country love and descartes and who concluded the night by throwing up on the kitchen counter. here is a joke from the stand up comedy routine:

Q: What kind of tree do you have for desert?
A: A piiiieee-n tree.

i will put up pictures later. we saw panic room earlier in the day. and witnessed a dramatic automobile accident. and i was sitting on the tatty couch, taking in the opium-den ambience and general seediness of this home where our only tenuous connection (vanessa) was in fact not known by anyone there, and as i tried to consume a 'jello shot' (by squeezing it out like a pushup; i do not swallow such things whole) this girl ran up to me, giggling, and gasped: "i thought you were eating deodorant." although laughing, she seemed truly concerned. later i was waiting for the bathroom, and another girl asked me, "is farrah fawcett in there?" i laughed cautiously, but she regarded me with the utmost of seriousness. "um, i don't think so..." i ventured. the girl who eventually emerged from the bathroom was wearing a discolored blonde wig, but did not particularly resemble farrah fawcet. did the girl who asked me really think it was farrah fawcett? i honestly cannot say.

let us not forget the puppet show that consisted mostly of a beaver vomiting.

man that was a weird party.

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