04.26.02 - 2:07 p.m.

I just ate a "big grab bag" of Cheetos. It supposedly contained two servings. One can only imagine the conversations that must occur deep within the bowels of Frito-Lay headquarters.

evil marketing henchman 1: eh, so how many servings you think are in this bag?

(points to a bag that is clearly snack-sized)

evil marketing henchman 2: well if we say one, then it's got 320 calories per serving.
evil marketing henchman 1: so why don't we say two, and we're down to 160 calories.
evil marketing henchman 2: well... if we said there were four servings...
evil marketing henchman 1: muhaha, why don't we say EVERY CHEETO counts as a serving?
evil marketing henchman 2: nono, let's say EVERY MOLECULE WITHIN THE BAG counts as a serving!
evil marketing henchman 2: brilliant!
evil marketing henchman 1: we've solved world hunger!

(high-five, break for lunch)