Journal of Pirate Lingo*


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* not an actual journal
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05.02.02 - 6:29 p.m.

Food is a simple but essential pleasure. Here are some things I have been enjoying lately:

Cherry vanilla granola

I bought this from the bulk foods aisle at Berkeley Bowl, and for a while I was walking around very pleased with myself because I had found a treat that was both healthy and delicious. Then I had a conversation with Hannah, and when I said "it's healthy, right?", she wrinkled her nose and said "well... it's mostly sugar". This filled me with rage. How dare she attack my granola!!! "It's... healthier than apple jacks!" I sputtered, as if this put it in the same category as brown rice and spinach, instead of merely indicating that it contained an ingredient other than sugar. In the end I was forced to admit that cherry vanilla granola is not as good for you as vitamins and broccoli. But it definitely tastes better.

Sliced gala apples and d'angelo pears in vanilla yogurt

Haha, I know they're not called d'angelo pears, but it's something like that. Ndegeocello pears? Anyway. You may notice a certain 'vanilla' theme cropping here. That is because vanilla is the nectar of the gods. The other day we were at Jay's place drinking milkshakes, and he said he couldn't understand why anyone would ever order a vanilla milkshake. To me, Jay's aesthetic tastes are as unfathomable as international tax law. IMHOWIOC, vanilla is the best flavor ever. (IMHOWIOC is an commonly used 'internet' term meaning In My Humble Opinion Which Is Obviously Correct.)

Breakfast burritos

Each burrito consists of a flour tortilla wrapped around scrambled eggs with sauteed onions, chard and spinach, spicy refried beans, a dab of sharp cheddar cheese and sour cream, and some vietnamese red rooster paste. Ooooooooh baby I love you way.

Vietnamese red rooster paste, on anything. ANYTHING!!! It's the new ketchup.

Anyone who knows me knows my fervent conviction that this is the best condiment of all time. It's basically red chiles mashed up with garlic. I call it red rooster paste cos you usually see it in restaurants in a plastic squeeze bottle with a rooster on the side. I think the technical name is Tuong Ot Toi. The bottle in our fridge says it's "chilliciously hot". That it is. (nods sagely.) That it is.

pita with fresh chipotle hummus

This makes me nostalgic. I don't miss much about Houston, but I do miss Droubi's. Droubi's was a deli that had really cheap fresh hummus, and little train cars you could sit in. If you wanted to, you could even make "choo choo" noises as you ate your hummus. For some reason I was the only one who ever did this.

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