Journal of Pirate Lingo*


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* not an actual journal
of pirate lingo

06.02.02 - 1:58 a.m.

I set myself on fire tonight. I was standing next to the stove, heating up some water for tea and talking to N. Next thing I knew, I smelled smoke and N. was shouting "oh my god!!" with an alarmed expression on her face. Suddenly I felt searing pain on my lower back. I twisted around and saw flames flickering merrily from the back of my t-shirt. Thinking quickly, I averted the potential crisis by ripping my shirt off and throwing it onto the floor, then frantically stomping it till the flames died out. By the time I finished this, I noticed that all persons in the house had stopped their conversations and were staring at me.

For comic effect, I would say this even beats the time last week when I walked into a screen door.

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