Journal of Pirate Lingo*

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* not an actual journal
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06.20.02 - 7:29 p.m.

I saw Undercover Brother over the weekend. There was a running gag in that movie about how black people hate mayonnaise. Is this true? Is it even an actual stereotype? I've heard a lot of stereotypical opinions about different ethnicities (Jews are stingy, the Irish are filthy, Indian guys are great in the sack), but never anything condiment-related.

Other movies I have recently seen:

American Pimp -- Shawn, Cosmo, Triet & I rented this overly long documentary by the Hughes brothers about, natch, pimps in America. All the pimps in the movie are black-- one of them comments that white men don't have enough charisma to be pimps. My favorite line came from a pimp who was asked about marriage. "It ain't about matrimony, it's all about MACKaroni."

Murderous Maids -- Dana & I saw this at the Castro. I'd never been there before, believe it or not. It was nice to finally check it out. They have this organist who rises from the ground and plays before every show. Anyway M.M. was about two homicidal lesbian sisters who work a series of shitty maid jobs in early 20th century France. The get treated like dirt by the snooty upper class women who hire them, and eventually they go beserk and kill their employers. This movie features graphic scenes of eyeball gouging and in general vacillates between extremely depressing dreary scenes of class struggle and unsettling lesbian incest. So you'll want to take the whole family.

Maryam -- Angi & I went to this for free, courtesy of a certain boy. It's the story of an Iranian high school girl living in America, whose cousin comes to visit right after the Shah of Iran gets deposed. This was during the 80's, remember, when the Iranian hostage crisis was happening. The girl's family falls victim to discrimination & hatred, and the cousin fights a lot with everybody and plots to kill the Shah. I actually cried a tiny bit at the end of Maryam, which is highly unusual for me as I never cry over anything. The movie was ok but not that good. I think it was a combination of alcohol and just feeling worn out from work. Also I'm a little girly-mon. (haha you want to know the truth? the only other movie I've ever cried at-- you're not gonna believe me but I swear it's true-- is Karate Kid II.)

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