12.03.02 - 3:58 p.m.

The germs in my throat are ferocious

Watson, come here, I need you

Last night I invented a new 21st century art form: VIRTUAL CRASH SCULPTURE. The canvas is GTA3VC. What you do is, jack a bunch of cars and crash them into each other. The more the better. Ideally you make them all explode, by parking a bunch of damaged cars together and then ramming into them with a car that's already on fire. It sets off a glorious chain reaction, and when the smoke clears you're left with a garden of charred hulks. I am the Picasso of this new medium. In the future I will use it to comment on gender issues.