Journal of Pirate Lingo*


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* not an actual journal
of pirate lingo

12.05.02 - 1:04 p.m.

If I ever become a mad bomber, the first place I'm gonna bomb is motherfucking Cafe Giacosa. It's the only eating establishment within walking distance of my office in the Nut, so I'm forced to eat there when I forget my lunch. But their food is SO NASTY. Vegetarian options are limited to veggie burger, salad, hummus sandwich or soup, and let me tell you, the only way any of these options would be appealing is if you'd just spent the last month marooned on a desert island subsisting on a diet of rats and gruel. Giacosa's "salad bar" consists mainly of soggy lettuce and beets, the hummus in the hummus sandwich is so excruciatingly lemon-y and foul that it is literally impossible to choke it down, and the veggie burger is a lifeless grey patty ensconced in a bun. Today, hoping against hope that the fourth choice might prevail, I got the lentil and noodle soup. Surprise surprise, it tastes like cardboard and water mixed together in a blender by Lunchlady Doris.

Where did these people learn to cook so bad? BOMBS BOMBS BOMBS

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