Journal of Pirate Lingo*


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* not an actual journal
of pirate lingo

12.19.02 - 4:43 p.m.

I met Hannah's new housemates last night.

Me: What do you do?
Pam: I... hmm. I read a lot.
Peter: I'm a carpenter.
Me: Like Jesus?
Peter: Sort of. Except Jesus didn't use a nail gun.
Me: Yeah but you know he would've if he could've.
Pam: They make crucifixion easy and fun! (makes blasphemous nail gun noises)

Nate's surprise bday party (the fourth I've been to in the last two months, counting my own) took place at Beckett's open mic night. The mc was a shemale with a fondness for Willie Nelson, Waylon Jennings and Johnny Cash. After she led the whole pub in a rousing rendition of Happy Birthday, Nate got up and did a couple of his own songs. I enjoyed listening. The whole Berkeley art-hippie contingent was there, Josh and Skyler and assorted nuts and grains. We make better friends than roommates.

Listening to a song off Jenny's november mix: Polygon Window, "If It Really Is Me." Soft piano loops and a stuttering muffled beat fade in and out, sounding like the embodiment of footsteps on rain-slicked pavement. The rain puts a spell on me. It kindles ambition but extinguishes optimism. I want to draw on big sheets of canvas and retreat from the street.

Off to meet Az. at the M+A$X*I!S xmas party. I doubt it will compare to the spectacularly drunken xmas shindigs Angi and I experienced in London. They featured epic boozing, bosses pinching the asses of underlings, and teary-eyed promises to stay in touch forever. (Sorry, Anthony, wherever you are.) Open bars, great food, medically dangerous hangovers... you can say what you want about the Brits but they know how to throw a xmas party.

I woke up the morning after mine (Microsoft UK) and stumbled to the bathroom. I'd been so drunk the night before that I was still drunk when I woke up. I took off my shirt and gasped. There was A HUGE TATTOO ON MY ARM. Eventually I remembered getting a fake one at the party. The contents of my pockets were: two stolen chopstick holders, someone else's disposable camera, and a tube of strawberry flavored body paste.

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