01.27.03 - 1:29 p.m.

and i feel like a beetle on its back

haven't felt like updating much lately. life has been good. that last entry was melodramatic and not strictly accurate, but i wrote it anyway because i like how it sounds. it's a line from "anthrax" by gang of four. i just bought "entertainment" and it's much more satisfactory than 100 flowers. i like their angular herky jerky guitar sound, and their deadpan vocal delivery. "pink flag" didn't impress me nearly as much, but "nation's saving grace" is a winner. so 2/3 on post punk and that's a good average. it's interesting that a lot of the music i'm getting into now came out around when i was born. maybe i'm subconsciously drawn to the sounds that punctuated my pre-formative years? artifacts of a personal big bang.

fri: dinner w/ shawn/jenny at la alma. a lavish fancy meal-- blue tuna ceviche and cream cheese empanadas, seared yellowtail, multiple desserts with port. came out, saw jenny had a flat, and after changing the tire (and getting our hands greasy) we went to sublounge to say hi to dan & shake a tail. people were wearing ridiculous clothes, which made me happy. handed out some kraftseed flyers (oh the humanity! who designed those things?) and met ben the dj. also ran into nick, az's ubiquitous friend. nick is a hilariously trendy dude. architect, designs clubs, green horn-rimmed glasses and-- best of all-- drives a vespa.

sat: brunch with seema at rock soup (yes my life revolves around food), nice bike ride through golden gate to the ocean and back to mission. the sun was shining for first time in a while. ratatouille cooked by the girls (az. and lina in matching ikea aprons, very cute) and then kraftseed. lots of faces, lame funk band but ben's set was tight. i think it was tech-house. az. and i worked the door for a while and stamped people with a super-vivid blue stamp. probably seeped into their bloodstreams and induced visions of grandeur. the party didn't raise as much money as hoped (it was a benefit for a women's shelter) but they broke even and raised awareness, so not a failure.

sun: did mushrooms for the first time ever. wandering through the park with az, ultra-beautiful sky (complete with little fluffy clouds, though they were more like pixelated whorls). getting the giggles-- people in the haight were so ugly, dogs were so funny. exiting the park, waxing philosophical about whether or not all human activity is by definition natural (like beavers building dams except our dams are better). back at az's, more hilarity, in bed looking at her face and the pattern of her bedspread forming countless eyes looking back at me. intense sensuality, bukem in the background. floating back to earth and out to trader joe's with cos, finally a late movie (catch me if you can) that made good use of tom hanks & leo decap. and now i am here, in my cubicle, feeling restless.

on sat. night she said "i love you". i said it too. i've never been in love before. it's like a drug that doesn't fade. most likely you know, but this is all new to me.