Journal of Pirate Lingo*


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* not an actual journal
of pirate lingo

02.10.03 - 10:31 p.m.

Oh wretched life! Why do you make me spill beer on myself? And why does mpCityName = "Smallville" but string(mpCityName) = "Amar"?

Every week it's the same thing. I write down the details of the weekend, skipping over the weeks because the weeks are filled with turd-boring work. Why not move to pornography? After careful evaluation, I have determined that this journal lacks a solid business model. If not profitable in six months, it will be sold to a consortium of Taiwanese investors.


spit it out, go home, ok. fri: mushroom stroganoff w/ mattshaw/az, then we watched ghost world. it's rare to see a movie with characters you can relate to, or characters that are even recognizably human. sat: shopping mania, cutouts and fashion, every store in valencia got done. murder, murder. cruel shoes, billowy pants, tight pockets, yellow & blue. all this to be fashionable and for what? for the sushi party? i can't believe i was worried about not looking cool! am i still 15?

bought ghost world (the comic), david boring, big book of racism. finished "the corrections" which annoyed me due to its cleverness and didn't make me laugh as much as infinite jest and taught me very little. ooh he's too good for oprah. oprah's got sass, what does franzen have? an ugly author photo and a fugly novel.

it wasn't all that, the sushi party. glad we got there early. didnt meet a lot of new people but established further friendship with mitch and lara, which was good. they live in a converted movie house in oakland, and after we had our fill of dancing (we were the only ones dancing! the djs were good but everybody else was too cool or too lame to get busy with it, except for the dreadlocked hippie dude who we were vaguely embarrassed to be dancing with) and sushi (which didnt come out fast enough; crowds would descend like vultures upon sea urchin rolls)

after all that, went back to the movie pad and they projected an old episode of sifl and olly, which was hilarious. the five of us were awash with open-bar-asahi/white widow/nectarine blend. their cat is named "spectacular"

wait that was sunday, the sushi party. sat: shopping, then az and i caught some bluegrass at noe valley ministry, the same place elio and i saw vox populi. it was ok but i prefer my bluegrass w/ whiskey and all they had was beer. plus it feels weird to drink in a church and again, hardly anyone was dancing. we sat on stage and watched some badass banjo/mandolin interplay. more white widow, it's doing me in.

i could tell you any jokes if i were more sober. not drunk on wine, just work. nothing is working and this week will be hard. fri is KILLER ROBOTS and i better be there. thurs is triet's gig at 1015, yall are going right? i want to but there's work. so cool that they're doing club 6 too. jenny's bday, still need to get laura a present. i am running in place yet falling behind. OH WOE! OH WOE IS WHITE WIDOWED ME! nigga please. drinkin rice beer out the diet dr. pepper can on bart home, looking at the endless highways thinking how robert moses really fucked us over, how blighted the landscape how hopeless it all seems.

nobody is reading this and if they are: see you in the funny papers. i am a rubbish-bin.

You must read ego trip's Big Book of Racism! I haven't seen Blacks, Latinos and Asians take this much initiative since the Los Angeles riots of '91. -- Al Goldstein, Publisher, SCREW

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