08.19.03 - 5:19 p.m.

I am running from meeting to meeting, hunkering down in my cube finishing up an interface to handoff LIKE AN OLYMPIC TORCH to a comrade in this company.

There is much to be done; gallons of water to be procured, wires to be sewn to fabric, dry ice picked up, mattresses dropped off. We are cooking a meal for 43 people next Wednesday, and it has to be non-perishable or heavily preserved. Coolers? Dry meal? Our abilities are stretching in interesting new directions.

Last weekend Az. was in NYC visiting her sick grandma. I wandered the bars of the Mission remembering what it's like to be single. I'd chewed our last two dots and a bit of ambien, so I was also remembering what it's like to RADIATE PULSATING WAVES OF ENERGY from both eyelids and toes. I kid; it was far more sedate than that. But did impart a certain edge to the evening. My excursion in snobbery began at

Liquid - boring SF house and middle aged paunchy men sitting at the bar looking left and right expectantly. It filled me with dread (am I this? this I am; must escape self) so I turned around and walked to

Dalva - packed with preeners and neeners, young men and women drinking and hoping to fuck, or not, perhaps discussing proust. it filled me with dread (amI this? of course I am; must escape self) so I backed out and went to

Elbo Room - where I ran into Jen Ward, offered to buy her a drink but the room was thick with frat monkeys and marina chicks (am I this? "He who despises himself esteems himself as a self-despiser") so I bid her adieu and found my way to

O2 - yes! an oxygen bar! never were it not for ambien and dots would I even consider patronizing a 'bar' that sells oxygen. but the DJ was playing autechre and I took off my shoes and reclined in a lounge chair. The bartendress placed a plastic tube in each of my nostrils and for 10 minutes I breathed in 'relax', a flavored and dubious scent...

but I was not dubious when I soon felt so blissful, my body parts light, the cells in my body vibrating, I cannot compare it to anything except the time in college I was lying on the couch with mattch and andyb and I was afraid I was enjoying myself so much I'd forget to breathe. it wasn't that good but it approached it

And then coming back down to earth and realizing I was in a frickin OXYGEN BAR, (sorry solar! for you i'd make an exception), so I hastily put on my shoes and ran out to

Amnesia - where they were actually playin some good d&b. Nobody was dancing but I did this experiment where I pretended I was rolling, and overcame my shyness and danced. I was That Guy. But you know, it felt good, and I could see people smiling and I swear you can be a catalyst if you're feeling the music and you show it. I talked to some strangers and they talked back, although to be honest our conversations were not sparkling. We shared hatred of mcs who chat too much over the beats. A couple lagers later I'm walking home and as I pass by

O2 - there's an astrologer in the window who beckons me. when i asked his credentials he told me he had a show on KUSF. "any monkey could get a show on KUSF!" i replied. i felt momentarily embarrassed by my brazen rudeness, but he laughed and I laughed and it was that kind of night. i gave him 5 bucks and he fed me some malarkey. his skill was not in divination but rather improv patter. he saw me as a cradlerobber or an old-person fetishist, and even when i told him my gf is only a week younger he didnt buy it.

back home...

So all that happened on saturday evening, in the morning I was over at Jason/Cat's grilling up stuff and trying to help a little with pinhole prep. Kate (who is a model, for real!) taught me how to do the model walk. You hold your shoulders low and head light and don't move your upper torso, and do a tightrope walk. the swivel at the end of catwalk took a little work but now i got it nailed

and friday was minimal effort release party, which was great. i love it when my friends make art, and i love it even more when i dont have to pretend to like it. these guys sound good! i was listening to the carpool song last night walking home late at night from bart and smiling so bright, laughing out loud even. just a great song. they covered pinback too and that seals the deal. sandeep is a whiz engineer. oh and cosmo: your guitar solo really does rock! mike/laura: solid work my friends.

sunday hopped in the citysharemobile, picked up az, gliding over the bridge and then an exhausted plunge under covers. life is lightspeed and next week i will be out there with the glowing head cars and the rituals, the magic of a vacation that is more work than work itself.