Journal of Pirate Lingo*


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* not an actual journal
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06.08.04 - 10:24 p.m.

Our lord in heaven above, does anything ever change? Three years ago I was complaining about the goddamned Lakers dominating the goddamned playoffs. Tonight, I watched in horror as Kobe "Beefhead" Bryant nailed a 3 with 2.1 seconds left to tie game 2 against the Pistons. They had that shit UNDER CONTROL! What happened? Perhaps Rasheed Wallace's anger management classes have worked too well. "Whatever man, you gotta be zen about it." Don't be zen about it! Get up in Kobe's face!

In OT it was a farce. The Lakers rolled over the Pistons like tank treads on hippie heads. Afterwards we were subjected to the usual insightful interview questions from Hannah Storm to Kobe: "What were you thinking when you made that three?" "What compelled you to win the game?" "How do you feel about winning?" Jesus christ what possible interesting answer could there be to any of those questions?

"Well Hannah, when I made that three I was thinking about the whole situation in Sudan. Really it's a tragedy, with the second insurgency coming right as the first civil war ended. We have to ask ourselves though, what if anything is the US doing to help the situation?"

Serves me right for tuning in.

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