Journal of Pirate Lingo*
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of pirate lingo
09.02.04 - 11:53 a.m.
Az's sister S. just had a baby. It's the first grandchild for Az's parents, so you can imagine the level of cooing and pampering involved. I wouldn't be surprised if they bronzed the kid's first poo.
S. lives in Miami, and Az. flew down there last week for the big occasion. The plan was for Az's non-Jewish cad of a boyfriend (me) to catch a flight to Miami this Saturday and spend the weekend with them. But it turns out Hurricane Frances was scheduled for the same weekend. This is why you should always check the weather report before making travel arrangements.
I can't say for sure how flight plans get altered when the place you're flying to is in the middle of a hurricane, but it seems like at a minimum they'd have to board up all the airplane windows. Even so, you would run the risk of flying into a whirlwind that spun the plane round and round till everyone was sick. Or you could hit a cow, as cows are sometimes propelled into the air by the sheer force of hurricane winds. On the whole it sounds like an unsafe proposition.
Az. says they're being evacuated. It sucks, but at least nobody's been hurt. I'm already looking ahead to the stories they'll tell about the baby's origins. He was born in the eye of a storm... the cradle flew up out of the window and hit a cow... etc. etc. And then years later when the child is engaged in the inevitable delinquency that results from having your poo bronzed at an early age, the family can cluck their tongues knowingly and murmur, "that one was born into the eye of the storm."
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