11.05.04 - 2:03 p.m.

I went dark for a while, inside and out. Couldn't think of what to say. I felt utterly, utterly defeated. Nov 3rd, I cried for the first time in years.

I wake up every morning feeling angry and depressed. Every time I see his face in the news it's like a punch to the gut. I'll be 32 years old and that smirking fucker will STILL, STILL be president. All the CA props I cared about went down (unless I was against them, in which case they succeeded). Daschle went down. GOP gained in congress and senate. Rehnquist has cancer.

Have to turn constructive, have to look forward. Shawn sent me this link, which I found at least mildly comforting. I know he's right. CHIN UP MOTHERFUCKERS. I know it, it's just gonna take some time to accept what happened.