02.12.05 - 12:46 a.m.

Guaranteed I am drunker than you... (unless you're Shawn... but even so...)

I can coax myself into writing by telling myself I'll delete this tomorrow, even though I won't. When really I should respond to emails. What is my problem? Too many to enumerate.

I was browsing through cocaine.org. You know there is an exact word for the feeling you (I) get when you're coming off a couple lines and you feel depressed and not interested in anything? There's an exact word for it. I find that comforting somehow. anhedonia

I hate commuting but I do like listening to music when driving. Today I had one of those joyful moments where the music is just RIGHT and I wish everybody could be tuned in to my personal radiostation. I've been creating random playlists by just sorting all the songs on my ipod alphabetically and then pulling out a chunk... there's too much music in that little white box and my eyes are bigger than my stomach. Anyway the four songs were:

Weidorje - Villna
Vinz - Copy (off Tiga Mixed Emotions)
Sidney Bechet And Noble Sissle's Swingsters - Viper Mad (off Sweet & Lowdown soundtrack)
Gescom - Viral Rival (Autechre remix)

Props to Q magazine, ?, DavidS and Triet , respectively, for turning me on to these works. I should/will/might write about these songs at a future date. Maybe even put them up on the forthcoming communal blog. Yousendit.com, have to check that out.

Valentine's day is up and coming. Red roses + delivery = $50! Fucking hell. Who invented this holiday?

There were so many things I thought of today and I had the urge to share. I need to buy a voice activated tape recorder, except I'm afraid it might confirm that my thoughts are not worthy of recording. Better to sustain the illusion that if only I could hang on to those wisps, they'd be meaningful

I'm eating chocolate to save the dolphins, no joke. San Francisco. Also Arrogant Bastard ale. Listening to all the autechre I've downloaded, architectural metaphors... D told me it stood for Audio Technical research.

I am super nostalgic. Nostalgia blurs what was and softens the edges. A few things I missed today:

London
Dana
Rice
Josh
Clinton
Naivet�

Really must delete this tomorrow, or at least cover it up with something coherent. SF/J was right about nostalgia being the critical heroin. Even if I don't understand half his posts these days.

I don't write about Az. much but you know I'm gonna marry that girl. The time's coming. The wheels are spinning. She's a hottie with vocab skills. Raisin the status quo up.