Journal of Pirate Lingo*


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* not an actual journal
of pirate lingo

04.10.01 - 2:34 p.m.

I am always pleased by my brain's ability to solve complex scheduling problems. For instance, when I bike home from downtown BART, there are a number of things I need to do once I get home.

1) take a piss
2) remove backpack from bike
3) put bike in garage
4) lock bike
5) put perishables from backpack in fridge
7) get mail
8) take off bike helmet

#1 always has precedence, but if I don't do #3 first then my bike could get stolen while I'm inside. So #3 has to come first, but in order to do #3 I have to do #2, because I need the keys from my backpack. But once I have the keys I always think ""well I might as well just get it all over with before going in." So it generally goes #2, #3, #4, #8, #1, #5 and finally #7 (cos my hands are full the first time I go in and I can't carry the mail).

Let's see a chimp try to do THAT!

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