09.27.02 - 3:06 p.m.
Alright, despite the grey weather, I'm feeling better today. Don't know why... maybe yesterday was a low point and it's all uphill from here. Looking forward to tonight, though I'm nervous. Part of me doesn't want to move on, because it amounts to admitting that things are truly over between me and D. But after talking to her in the last couple of days, it's clear that they are. And I like Az., and I think she likes me, and there's no reason not to go out and have some fun and see what happens. So that's the plan.
I've always found the advice "be yourself" to be exceedingly inane. It presupposes that there is a unitary you, when in fact there are countless yous that can emerge depending on the situation. "A million different people from one day to the next," as the song has it. The trick is finding someone who brings out a you that you like.
I need to stop talking about girls so much. I don't want this journal to turn into a tedious emo-fest. Plus, although I have mostly avoided talking about sex, I'm realizing that talking about things outside of the bedroom can cause problems as well. Perhaps it's time to maintain some victorian propriety and confine myself to discussion of cricket scores and gardening techniques. Righty ho.
I have to get back to work. They're asking everybody to playtest The Sims Online again. Haha I love that I am slacking off from playing a computer game. It's the ultimate in laziness. I think I've achieved some kind of slacker satori.
I really suck at TSO. It's an online version of real life, so go figure. Here's an example: in TSO you start with a certain amount of cash. I used mine to construct a house. When it came time to add stuff to the house, I bought a bed, then realized that I was almost out of money. I could barely afford a door, let alone other luxurious amenities such as a fridge or a tv. So my house just has a bed, a toilet and a shower. I guess I'll be eating a lot of takeout.
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